Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Outlook on "me"

So I had a funny comment today... not haha funny but odd I guess...

So the comment said to me was "why do you work out so much, you already got a guy" now granted this led to a conversation and I was confused on the meaning of the comment
A) Should I only care what a guy thinks?
B) What does he have to do with my working out?
C) Im taken so I should not look or feel healthy?

The whole thing was odd and I was surprised it came up so let me clarify...

I began my "transformation" if you will, for me. I started working out religiously around October/November before I was "dating" Phil. I started doing it for Me not so I could "get a guy" Not to sound vain but I usually don't have too much trouble meeting people, Im kind of a social butterfly and talking to people isn't a problem for me. I had actually sworn off men shortly before this and decided that If I wanted someone else to love me that I would have to love myself first. I got back in touch with God, started working hard at school, my job, and research, and started eating healthier and working out. It was a re-vamp of my whole life and outlook on life. I started going to the gym because I wanted to get healthy again- I had let myself go the last couple years at med school and I wanted to be fit like I was way back when. I wanted to be fit and losing weight was just a great byproduct of that.
I mean don't get me wrong, no woman wakes up thinking "hey maybe Ill be ugly today" or "wouldn't it be cool to not be beautiful?" I am no better than anyone else and yes I have my vain moments where I spend too much time getting ready and putting on makeup and changing my clothes ten times until something "doesn't make me look fat" haha Ill be the first to admit it but I realize that I have come a very long way with that too...  I was standing in front of my mirror the other day in my underwear and a tank top and I wasn't looking at flabby arms or dimples in my thighs, I wasn't noticing whether I had love handles or how pale I look... instead I was looking at myself thinking- "well Im making progress" and I smiled and then my smile made me start thinking of other happy things and I all of a sudden I wasn't in a rush to cover up or hide behind a towel but I was happy with me and I went about my routine. That is what I was looking for... I wasn't expecting to become a skinny rail like the girls on tv and I wasn't expecting to become a size 2.. I just wanted to be happy with myself again and Im slowly getting there... I have my low days and my high days but progress is progress afterall... whether its a pound or 10 pounds its progress... I still have a way to go but I've got plenty of time...
Besides there are some aspects I dont want to lose... I know there are some curves I have that my man is glad I have so I am proud to have those
Which brings me to another point- then the comment was made "well doesnt it bother you that he's skinny" umm well obviously it doesn't bother him that Im not hahah I am who I am and he is who he is and I wouldn't want to change him for anything in the world... I dont love him because he is perfect, he is perfect because I love him.... He is exactly who I fell in love with and his waist line doesn't define him any more than mine does me... Granted it is a pretty good motivator to see our shadows next to each other but again Im not worried about it... I think he's pretty damn hott actually so long story short "no, no it doesnt bother me"

Ok Ive been ranting long enough now.... I need to go shower after my run I just had.....

HOME IN 2 DAYS!!! Can't wait!!!!

peace and love

1 comment:

  1. Since it's almost time for the Olympics...I will judge this blog post. *cracks knuckles*

    Content - 9.8 out of 10 (you didn't mention me, Batman, or Sheldon Cooper at all)

    Confidence - 11 out of 10 (more people should think this way)

    Comedy - 6 out of 10 (I saw NO reference to whoopie cushions, clown noses, or Daniel Tosh)

    Amber-ness - 10 out of 10 (you are Amber...full credit has been assigned)