Monday, February 13, 2012

mixed feelings

Having a lot of unexpected mixed feelings this morning that I need to talk/type out...
So as everyone knows by now I was in medical school but that obviously didn't work out so here I am in graduate school.. don't get me wrong I love it here and I am super happy at where I have landed and what I have become but old feelings creep back occasionally

Today was the "Match" for my medical school friends. For those of you who don't know what the "match" is Ill explain... So during your third and fourth year of medical school you start to decide what type of medicine you want to practice and you begin to think of where you would want to be doing it. So then you apply for Residency programs in these areas either by subject or my geography. Anyways you go and interview and meet the people at these respective hospitals. When all is said and done you go to a program and enter your choices by rating them as your top pick, second pick, etc... The hospitals do this as well... They look at the lists of students who interviewed with them and then they list the students as top choice, second pick, etc... then the idea is that the "match" tries to match you up best that they can hopefully getting first picks with first picks and so forth down the line until everyone has somewhere to go...
So anyway my friends found out today where they will be going and what they will be doing for the rest of their lives... which I am super happy for them and can't help feel a little sad that I'm not doing this with them... I really do think that if I could have gotten past the parts of school that brought me down that I really could have been an amazing doctor and I feel a little sad that I put 3 years into a program that I never followed through with...
ON THE OTHER HAND... I don't think I'd want to be doing that even now... I am happy here.. I like teaching.. I like my classes... I have friends and an AMAZING boyfriend who I never would have met otherwise... I am very blessed and grateful to be where I am its just those old feelings linger in from time to time....
I can't decide if it is because it was something I didn't finish or if there is something else there but I know this feeling will pass so Im not too worried about it... Im going to smile and congratulate all my friends on their life choices...
Its just kind of an odd day.....

Other than that Im having a splendid day.... Woke up to an amazing smile on the face of an amazing Man... which reminds me... it really is the small things in life that make it wonderful... I was busy getting dressed for school so he went ahead and got out my cereal bowl and spoon and everything for me this morning... I'm sure it seems like a small gesture but it made my day... It took all of five second for him to do it but he thought to do it which was just amazing to me... He treats me so well I dont know how I got so lucky.... ( Hey Baby, Hope I don't embarrass you on here too much.. feel free to yell at me if I do ;) I just can't help bragging about you and your amazingness I love you)
And then teaching went well and now I am prepping for that big presentation tomorrow... so everyone wish me luck and send me some prayers that my classmates are easy graders tomorrow haha

Love you all... xoxoxo

Side Note: Doctor's appointment for my sis was today and he confirmed that she is indeed pregnant!! yayee!!

1 comment:

  1. Love you!! I completely understand - My post last night was much the same - old feelings and curiosities cropping up. Wondering what my life would have been like if I had followed the path I was on at one point. But - as you put so well - I am happy with where I am and I am hoping that things improve soon for me. :)

    ReplyDelete