fire

Have you ever looked at a fire and gotten lost in it.. Im not a pyro don't worry thats not where this post is going but seriously... I went to the lake a couple weekends back and as I was staring at the fire I kind of became lost into it mesmerized almost by the ever changing flames.... Last night I had a dream where I was engulfed in flames but it didn't hurt and I wasn't in pain and it was almost like I controlled it.. Like I knew I owned the flames that engulfed me... I think my mind has become more abstract as I become older because I have no doubt that this dream was actually meant to inspire me not to scare me... I had a rough weekend thinking about Lecom's graduation and where I could have been today... I looked at pictures of my friends in their doctor caps and gowns and was almost envious... but then I remembered something important... This is what I chose... I chose to let that life go and I chose to move forward... After I decided to give up my original dream of becoming  a doctor I could have lost myself I could have went back to mom and dad's to work at applebees for the rest of my life... I could have given up.. it would have been easy... but thats not what life is... Life is too short to just give up... you have to adapt just like the flames in a fire adapt to the wind and the wood and even the people around it... I knew Erie wasn't for me.. I was never happy there... I loved my friends but I hated the town, the school, the way I was, who I was, I wasn't healthy, I wasn't working out.... I wasn't even trying anymore... its like my body was telling me something and I refused to listen... Making the decision to give up and move on was one of the hardest things in my life but I did... I sucked it up accepted my mistakes and my bad decisions and applied to graduate school.... I always had a pull toward Miami and I never knew why... My sister and I were texting on Saturday and she is amazing, as always, and her comment to me was something like this "you had to move on, you had to give up its what led you here today... maybe you were meant for a PhD maybe you were just meant to find Phil but this was your purpose"...  This is amazingly true for me... I am happy here and more so that I have been living in any other town and I am happier with Phil than I have been with any other man and I am happy with my degree and my research and my job which is also all firsts for me..... I think my brain last night was reminding me "hey you adapted you changed you are fierce and strong and can withstand anything"  Who knows maybe it was just a dream composed of crazy things I saw throughout the day but Im going to be the optimist here and assume it was either God or my own strength inside me inspiring me to continue and reminding me that I wasn't meant to be in Erie this past weekend just like I wasn't meant to continue on that path. I have finally found who I am and who I am supposed to be and I love the look at the direction it is heading... I will continue to adapt and change and as I realize that with each passing year I am continuing to grow and change and thats ok... thats how it is meant to be... So get comfortable and enjoy my warmth cause this flame is no where near done!!!!

all kinds of happy

So a lot has been going on sorry for the lack of posts....
Maciek my collaborator from Chicago left last Saturday. We got so much accomplished and achieved so much data that I think we are turning it into two papers instead of one.. The idea of having my name on multiple publications astounds me. I am already starting to work on the manuscript for one of them and I can't believe this is all really happening. Talk about a happy girl!!
This week at work was pretty laid back because I have to go through one last long week of four hour samplings starting on monday. It will be especially long since I will be doing it by myself but I figure I can handle that just fine! Its only five days after all!
We got a new student for the summer and she seems pretty cool and it sounds like Im going to be working with her a lot. She is an undergrad from New York here on a research experience thing but she seems competent enough so it wont be too bad I dont think. The project she is helping me with should be pretty interesting too so Im not too worried

Went to Cumberland with Phil and his family last weekend. It was a great time and I got an awesome tan!! We went out on the boat all day Saturday and Sunday and I went tubing with Phil on Sunday.. HE IS CRAZY AWESOME... so while im holding on for dear life he is doing tricks and at one point decides to jump OVER me three times in a row.. it was crazy and his mom got it on video so hopefully I can show you guys at some point! My weird irrational fear of deep water wasnt bad either. We floated around together and fell off the tubes together and I didn't freak out which was good.. I just feel safer with Phil around I think.... Life is overall just better when he is around

Last night we went to a concert down in Riverbend and it was amazing. Thompson Square, Darius Rucker, and the AMAZING LADY ANTEBELLUM!!! right after Darius finished they postponed the show due to weather and Phil and I got drenched but we stuck around and by 10pm Lady A was back on stage singing. It was kind of fun to hang out dancing and holding each other and kissing each other in the rain. It amazes me what a great group they are. they sound just like they do on the radio when they are in real life which is impressive I think. Few groups are that good! I was very impressed and it was well worth the rain

Finished reading "the hunger games" in about 2-3 sittings. I barely started it one day then got well over half way the next day and finished it yesterday. it was good i have to admit and I am looking forward to buying the second and third ones to finish this weekend... Its nice reading for fun again...

K back to work now. Hope all is well with everyone
God Bless

Busy Busy

Sorry for the lack of updates... I am into week two of the every four hour sampling at work... its exhausting and gives me very little time.
quick update

Worked Saturday then had dinner at the boss's house and Phil finally got to meet her
Sunday was the Brad Paisley, The Band Perry, and Scotty McCreery concert at Riverbend.. It was good and the performers were good but there were a bunch of kids that looked barely 12 that were drinking and carrying on and so much drama with them... Its crazy how kids act now a day-- wow that makes me sound old....

Work all week then heading to Cumberland with Phil and his family! Weekend on the boat in the sun should be just what the doctor order....

peace and love

Time

Time flies and takes forever all at the same time... how is that possible

Time Flies... Phil and I have been together 5 months.. it went so fast its like our first day was yesterday... Crazy thing is though I feel like I have known him for years... we are old souls meant to be together....

Work: Time flies I can't believe Im done with my first year and I cant believe my big project started already
Maceik arrived on Sunday and we started a two week long experiment which goes as follows:
Sampling at 7am, 10am, 2pm, 6pm, 9pm, and 2am
So I get up early go to school until after the 2pm sample
go home and work out and shower
come back to school from 6 until after the 9pm sampling
then go home to attempt to sleep until the 2am sampling which i do and then go home and try to go back to sleep until its time to get up again hahah
Its a long two weeks...
Time actually seems to fly between the samplings but the samplings themselves seem to take forever...

Funny how time works....

Random side note: I am down 30lbs from where I started back after New Years... Progress is progress and I am determined to keep it going!!

I know its short but I gotta get back to work

God Bless!

Inspiration Day

been awhile... sorry

So much to tell you about and update you on!!!

lets begin with a mom update:
Mom had to go into the hospital on Friday afternoon. They were worried that she had appendicitis but after some examination they decided that that wasn't it and admitted her into the hospital. Come to find out she had Colitis and was put on IV antibiotics and pain medication. She was finally sent home yesterday morning with a bunch of antibiotics and she has to go back in a couple weeks to get things checked out further. That being said though she is doing well and when I talked to her last night she was ready to get back to playing with Hayden and cooking for Dad so those are really good signs I think!!
I am going home this coming weekend for my niece Carrie's bridal shower and conveniently it is also Mothers Day weekend so I can't wait to see her for myself and see how she is doing!

So my niece is getting married... how cool is that? For those of you that just know i have a ton of family members, Carrie is my oldest sister's youngest daughter, and she is the one that I lived with when I lived in Erie PA. She is currently residing in NC and will actually be getting married in Ireland.. how cool is that?? wish I had the money to go but hopefully she knows I am wishing her well!!

So the last week with Phil has been fun
we decided to get away for a day so we went to Madison Indiana to Clifty Falls to go hiking... let me tell you... it was quite the adventure... First off, our hotel was amazing because it was on a mountain side overlooking the river which was awesome. Hiking was good there but very tiring. I was looking forward to trying out my new hiking boots (I finally bought my hiking boots for Antarctica!!!) so it was a day for breaking in the boots and they actually worked really well. My feet didn't hurt, I didn't get wet even though we were wading through a foot of water at parts and I didn't fall which is always a good sign haha. It was quite humorous though because we had originally planned a 4 mile hike but we took a wrong turn and 5 hours later we had hiked almost 10 miles hahah It was still a great time though. I love when he is all manly and leading the way hahah. The trails were super steep and I was super tired by the end of it all but I had a great time.... We were worn out and passed out early that night haha.

So then on Friday I went with Emily to work on her horse Gus... Emily had a big horse show on Saturday so Friday night was spent braiding Gus's hair and giving him a bath and making him look pretty! It was actually a lot of fun getting to hang out in the stables and it was nice to be around horses again... I'm gonna make Phil go horseback riding with me soon I think hahaha


Saturday was graduation day for Phil. His family showed up at my house first since they were in Oxford and wanted to see the place since Phil is here so much. I hope they liked the place. His dad said it felt warm and homey which is completely what I think and was going for... Anything to not feel like an apartment but a home is good for me!! He did great at the ceremony!I was so proud of him and he looked so adorable walking across stage! Have I mentioned how proud of him I am? We all went out to dinner afterward to celebrate and I just kept smiling at him! He amazes me more everyday!!!

I am so incredibly short hahahah


So then on Sunday it was his mom's birthday and she wanted to go to the zoo so his sister and the two of us went to the zoo too! It was a great zoo and I loved that they had animals out for you to interact with and it was zoo babies month so we got to see a lot of baby animals which is always good in my eyes!!!

This was an owl they had out and I had to get my picture with!!!
We didn't get home until late Sunday but it was amazing being with him all day and going home with him and just overall it was an amazing day!!!

Arent we adorable??? this was taken at the zoo too!!! We kinda match... it wasn't on purpose and i actually just noticed it hahahah oops!! I guess we are "that couple" hahaha


One week until my 2 week long collaboration project!! Its gonna be a long two weeks but if it works my boss said we would get a publication out if it!!! Im super excited and can't wait!!!! Even if I have to write it I will still be excited lol

ok this is getting freakishly long so Im gonna stop now
Peace and Love to you all!!!

Great week so far!

So this week has been AMAZING!!!

A) I am officially done with school for the year meaning I am officially done with my first year of Graduate school
B) I bought my hiking winter boots for Antarctica!!
C) Wednesday get away with my amazing boyfriend with the chance to try out new hiking boots
D) Worked all day today and got a lot accomplished (7am-9pm) but my research is going into a cool direction so Im ok with it
E) Tomorrow I get to hang out with Emily and her horse Gus after work which of course includes awesome outdoor time
F) My baby graduates Saturday!!!!!

yesterday Phil and I decided to get away and celebrate the end of the school year and his college life so we headed to Madison Indiana to Clifty Falls for some hiking and relaxing... It was funny because we only planned on about 4 miles hiking and we got lost and took a wrong turn and 10 miles later we were finally in the car on our way back to oxford... Even tired and lost I still had fun with him... He is kinda amazing like that!!!

Ok i know this is short but im still busy at work i just wanted to say hello and let you all know life is good so Smile relax and enjoy the sun!!

Peace and Love always